Drew Barrymore- 10/13/01

Drew Barrymore 10-13-01

COLIN QUINN: The FBI warning is there is a 100% chance of another attack. Guess what, at 100% you can stop saying the word 'chance.'

FALLON: A new book by a German historian asserts that Adolph Hitler was actually a closeted homosexual. The claim is based on the discovery of the new Hitler memoir, Mein Boyfriend.
GAY HITLER: Hi Tina. Hi Jimmy. Sprechen sie dick?

Gay Hitler and Neil Diamond FEY: According to the statistics released by the American Society of Plastic Surgery, surgeons performed over 389,000 nose jobs, 133,000 face lifts, 212,000 breast augmentations [pictured: Michael Jackson], and it still doesn't look right.

FALLON: It was revealed that Donald Trump has plans to buy a parachute in case he ever has to jump out of one of his buildings. Either that, or he plans to grab his comb over and Mary Poppins his way down past the 80th floor.

FEY: Police in India have arrested a man for threatening killing a tiger he believes is his lover from a past life. Well, at least he only wants to kill it!