FEY: According to an internet costume seller, Halloween masks have predicted the outcome in the last 6 Presidential elections.  And this year, the winner so far is President Bush masks...although the Kerry mask is still doing well.

FEY: On the eve of Tuesday's elections, a new videotape of Osama bin Laden was aired on Al Jazeera. Bin Laden addresses the American people directly in a way that can only be described as 'more optimistic than Dick Cheney.'

POEHLER: According to a new Democratic poll released today, 50% of Vice President Cheney's daughters are still gay.

FEY: In a bid to court ex-New Yorkers, Rudy Giuliani and Ed Koch have recorded a radio ad for President Bush that will run all over Florida. The ad begins, 'Hi, we're the reason you left.'

POEHLER: Today is Daylight Savings.  So, don't forget to set your clocks one hour backward.  Uh, or forward.  I don't know.

FEY: This week, the Boston Red Sox beat the St. Louis Cardinals to win their first World Series since 1918.  The most positive aspect of the Red Sox victory is that it will finally allow our own Seth Meyers to overcome the psychological block that has kept him a 13-year-old boy in a man's body.  So throw away your baseball cards, Seth, today you are a man.
SETH MEYERS: Oh really, Tina? Well, guess what, I'm not gonna let you ruin this one, cause there's only 3 more things I have to accomplish before I die: climb Mt. Everest, write a novel, and that thing I talked to you and Amy about earlier.
POEHLER: Yea, Seth, there's no way we're having a 3 way with you.
SETH : Just like there was 'no way' the Sox were coming back from 3-nothing down to the Yankees?  Ritz Carlton, room 434, and bring a credit card for incidentals, if you know what I mean....
FEY: You mean condom and porn movies?
SETH : Oh, I was gonna say Pringles, but yours are better.
POEHLER: Get out of here Seth.
FEY: Yea, go hang out with your Red Sox friends...
SETH : Alright, I will. (to Johnny Damon:) What do you think?
JOHNNY DAMON: Yea, let's get out of here Seth.
SETH: Whatever you say, best friend Johnny Damon!
FEY: I didn't know Seth knew Jesus.