FEY: It was announced this week that Red Lobster will open a restaurant in Times Square next year. Finally, just like the old days, you'll be able to go down to Times Square and get crabs.

FALLON: In a stirring victory for the U.S. legal system this week in Los Angeles, prosecutors finally convicted this country's most dangerous criminal. We can all sleep soundly tonight, my fellow Americans. We can all sleep soundly tonight.

FEY: Singer Bobby Brown was arrested early Thursday in Atlanta and was charged with possession of marijuana, speeding, no proof of insurance, and no driver's license... he's still got it.

FALLON: The first season of Felicity is out on DVD this week. Fans who waited on line for over 24 hours to buy the DVD didn't really have to, because there were no lines.

FEY: An advertising company in London is using dogs to carry around ads. This makes London the only place in the world where you can see a McDonald's ad sniffing a Wendy's ad's balls.

SETH MEYERS: Well, it's a special night for me.  It's my ten year high school reunion tonight.  Obviously I can't go, and I'm pretty disappointed, cause, I'm on TV now, I have this awesome job, and, to be honest, I wasn't that cool in high school.
FEY: Wow, I find that really easy to believe.
MEYERS: Well, thank you Tina, but it's true.  Anyway, since I can't go, I thought it would be nice if I got a chance to have my half of the conversations I would've had, if I'd been there. So, here goes.
('Little Miss Can't Be Wrong')  
-Hey, what's goin' on Nelton!?  Hendrikjon, nice to see you!  Alright, lookin' good.  
-Hey, anyone know if Meghan LaRocca's coming?  You know her - super hot, used to ignore me.. Alright cool.
-Yea man, no thanks, I'm not drinking tonite..
-Hey man, how's it goin'? 
-Am I still gay? I never was gay.
-Everybody?  Who's everybody?
-Two Amstel Lights please.
(' Baby Got Back')
-Heeey!  Well if it isn't glory boy quarterback, Doug Stradley!  Good to see ya man.
-Yea, I guess I'm doin okay... I'm on TV now..
-Oww!  Comeon, ow!  
-I'm not hitting myself... you're making me hit myself. 
-I'm not gonna say that...
-Because I'm 28 years ol-
-I'm a girl!  I'm a girl!
-Give me a shot of Yaegar
-Hey is Meghan LaRocca comin or not!?
-What can I say man.. SNL's a crazy life..I mean it's really long hours, and there's so much pressure..whata you do? Brain surgeon?
-Right, so you know what I'm talking about.
-I'll take a bottle of chivitz with a straw-
('Unbelievable")
-Woo!  I love this song!
-Yeah, uh huh, uh huh, Tina Fey's amazing!  We hang out all the time!
FEY (mouths): No we don't.
(grabs mic)
-Woo!  Code blue night!  Has anyone seen Meghan LaRocca?  I am trying to hook up with Meghan LaRocca because I'm on TV! 
-Hey!  Get off me dude! 
('It's So Hard To Say Goodbye to Yesterday')
-(on cell phone) Dad.... I need you to pick me up...The football team has my shoes, and I have a little bit of throw up on me...
-Yea...I know MadTV is on..
-I don't know, tape it!
-You signed a SAG contract with me!  Honor the contract!
-Meghan LaRocca??  I've never stopped thinking about you.. Wow, you're as big as a house. 
-I'm on TV.. and yes, I would love to do it with you.

MEYERS: Happy 10 Year, West High!