FEY: It was announced this week that after four years in Los Angeles,
the Grammys will move back to New York City. Be careful, you guys.
My Grammy moved to Florida and like a month later she died.
[Tina's look after this is classic]
FALLON & FEY: Oooh snap! Oh no you di'nt! Ooh snap!
FALLON: Uh oh. I think the Robot Tina broke down.
FEY: President Bush was criticized this week for not having a clear
stance on the Middle East crisis. You know what? Good! The only people with a
very 'clear stance' on the Middle East are the crazy people in the Middle East.
I've had it with all of them. Yasser Arafat, don't talk to us in English and say
, "I agree to a ceasefire," and then turn around in Arabic and be
like, "Hassan, lets do this!" We're onto you. We've got like 2
bilingual CIA guys now, so we know what you're saying! And Sharon, when you are
storming West Bank towns and bulldozing people's homes, try not to look like ya
love it. Cause you kinda look like you love it. And it's only gonna get
worse, cause now, when Palestinians blow themselves up, Saddam Hussein will send
their families $25,000. That's a lot of money to these people. They don't have
game shows over there. They don't have Fear Factor. Palestinians would
clean up on Fear Factor, by the way. They would do very well on Fear
Factor. But they don't have it.. So today, President Bush had clarified his
world views, saying, "you're either with us, or with the terrorists."
Or, you're with the terrorists, but you have oil (Kuwait), or, you're with us,
but you hate us (Egypt), or, you're with us, but you fund all the
terrorism in the world (Saudi Arabia), or you're 100% with the terrorists,
except for one little guy in charge (Pakistan), or you're with us, but you can't
really help us (Iceland), or you're with the terrorists, with each other,
against us, even though you hate each other (Iraq and Iran). Back to you, Jimmy.
FEY: Playboy is planning a spread called The Women of Enron.
Come on, these women have lost their jobs, their retirement funds,
and now they've gotta lose all but this much of their pubic hair?
Playgirl magazine is planning a spread called The Men of Enron.
Editors say it seemed like a perfect match for Playgirl, which is known for
photos of callopsing firms.