FALLON: US officials continue the search for Osama Bin Ladin. Reports suggest that Bin Ladin is most likely somewhere remote and barren, where he will not encounter others. The FBI has begun searching theatres showing the movie "Glitter."


FALLON: [adlibbing] What is going on with my hair?!
FEY: Shoulda spent more money on that wig. ..

FEY: At the request of the Catholic Church, a 3 day sex orgy to be held near Rio de Janeiro was cancelled last Friday. So instead I spent the weekend cleaning my apartment. Organizers of the orgy were expecting 1500 men, and 8 women.

FALLON: A man who owns a middle-eastern restaurant named "Osama's Place" says he won't change the name because it's named after the original owner, not Osama Bin Ladin. Though he had a harder time explaining why his other restaurant is named "Hitler's Chicken."

FALLON: The first week of Maine’s annual moose hunt began on Monday and ends tomorrow...
FEY: Wait, wait, wait. Are you serious?
FALLON: Yeah, why?
FEY: It’s just that I promised myself I would kill a moose this year, and now it’s too late. Ugh, I never finish anything!
FALLON: That’s not true, Tina. You’re one of the most disciplined people I know.
FEY: If that were true, I’d be eating moose jerky right now.
FALLON: Well, Maine’s having an extra week of moose hunting this season starting October 8th! You can shoot a moose then, just don’t put it off until the last minute this time.
FEY: I won’t, Jimmy. I won’t squander the second chance Maine has given all of us to shoot a moose!
FALLON & FEY: And... scene!

FEY: MSNBC reporter, Ashleigh Banfield, now in Pakistan covering events there, has cut her hair short and dyed it brown in order to go unnoticed in the male-dominated country. Take it from me, Ashleigh- if you think having brown hair and wearing glasses will keep men from noticing you.. you are right.

FEY: Our final story tonight: New York City is awesome. If you would like to donate to the Twin Towers Fund to help in the relief effort here in New York City, call the number on your screen: 1-877-870-4278.